Weariness

Figures my first real post here would be a bit dramatic...

7:20 AM - I get a call from the hotel where I work. My mother wants me to call her on her cell phone. This, of course, is immediate cause for alarm; with my uncle in the hospital and my brother becoming more and more th ever-rebellious teenager neither myself or my sister ever were, a plethora of morbid possibilities ran through my head.

The worst ones about my brother weren't true, thankfully. He's still alive, at least until I get my hands on him.

My uncle Kenny, though... is in bad shape. He's been the hospital in an induced coma for almost a month now. His liver has failed, and they apparently are unable to take him off of dialysis, meaning his kidneys are shot, too. I talked to my dad, briefly, and the doctors were going to be talking to my cousin sometime this morning - probably meaning they'll be taking him off of life support.

I've never been particularly close to my uncle. I've always enjoyed seeing him, and visiting him. My dad, though... this will be the second brother he's lost. His younger brother, Matt died when I was maybe 4 years old. I don't even remember him, which is what makes me the saddest. My dad used to be a professional photographer, carried his camera everywhere, so we have lots of pictures from that time, including my uncle. Looking at them makes me wonder what he was like. My sister can remember, although I don't know whether it's a real memory or one induced by being told the story many times, climbing on my uncle Matt while he was in the hospital. She was about 2. I don't even have that.

My family seems to be dying off in droves recently. My cousin Jason died in early 2001. It was a shocker, as we'd thought he was getting better, but not unexpected with a brain tumor. My grandmother died December 27, 2001 - I had talked to her on Christmas Day, and she sounded fine. She died during a routine dialysis appointment.

Her son, my uncle, died 6 months later, from a drug overdose. I was on vacation with my then-girlfriend-now-wife's family. Interestingly enough, my mom was on vacation in the same area, and we were scheduled to get together - of course, I didn't expect her first words to be "Uncle Kevin is dead." Kind of puts a dampener on things.

My grandmother's mother attended all three of those funerals. She died last year, though she lived far longer than anyone expected. I can remember one of the last times my mother visited Massachusetts with us kids she cried when we left my great-grandparents's house. She said this may be the last time she ever saw them. Her grandfather lived a decade longer, I believe. Her grandmother lasted 6 more.

Whew. So that's my stress relief for today.

Voa-voa and Voo-voo... miss you.