Friendship
Pardon me whilst I wax sentimental.
I miss friends. I have friends, don't get me wrong. My friend-landscape is so VERY different than it was just four or five years ago, though. And I miss them.
My friends used to be my life. Probably everyone's life. And actually, growing up, I didn't have that many friends near where I lived. In fact, I had like one friend that I would hang out with on a regular basis. During the summer I hung out with a TON of people near my grandmother's house. THOSE were my friends, they were the center of my life when I was young. One eventually was the best man at my wedding.
I haven't seen any of them regularly for like 6 years. Some came to my wedding, which was great. I miss them.
My mom was always upset with the amount of time I spent with my friends. "Friends come and go, but your family will always be there for you," is what she would always say. At 14, I didn't understand how I would ever NOT be friends with these people. Now I haven't spoken to many of them for years. My mom knew, though; her best friend from high school never returned her calls when my mom was in town for a week for my great-grandmother's funeral. I'm not saying any of my friends are like that, or that that is the kind of friend I am or will be... just that she knew that friends do come and go, and I hadn't had that experience yet.
My mom had a lot of friends, I thought, when I was growing up. Later she told me that she was always afraid that my dad was cheating on her, so she tried not to gather female friends. She may have been right, I don't know, it's not the kind of question I'm going to ask my dad. Kind of helps me understand the mentality my mom helds/holds on friends, though.
My first year of college I made a great group of friends - the kind you have picures of in your office and say, "Yeah, those are my college buddies." My second year most of them were gone, and by the end of the third all of them were. I cried when the last one left.
And now I have all-new friends. Great friends - that's why we're friends, right? I love them. I love hanging out with them, enjoying their company... sometimes I can't quite express that. I know, especially recently, I haven't been able to do things with them nearly as much, but I do appreciate them, even if I don't always show it.
And everyone's lives are like this, too. We have our friends growing up, elementary, middle, high school. Then we go off to college, probably make all new friends there. Then we go off into the workforce, move to a new place, make new friends there. I dislike the temporary nature relationships seem to have. I wish they would just... stay. I wish they were easier to maintain.
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13, KJV. I remember reading that at 15 and thinking, "Wow. Do I love anyone that much?" I thought about that for weeks. That, actually, is what led me to tell a girl I loved her for the first time - and yes, I meant that in a romantic sense, as well. Ever since then I have periodically sat down to go through who I would willingly lay down my life for, and who I might only be willing to imperil my life for. Very few fall into the latter category. Do I just pick them right, or am I too giving with my life?
Wow, this was kind of rambling. Perhaps more personal than I meant it to be, too. Ah, well. See you on the flip-side.
7 comments:
I dont think that you are too giving with it, what is a life worth that would not be given to save a friend?
And yes the transient nature of relationships do suck, but at the very least we have more opportunity for contact now than our parents did.
Sorry Nathan, I'm going to have to call at least a little bit of BS.
Friends do not come and go. If they did, you wouldn't miss them. They are clearly still in your heart.
Also, "Friends come and go, but your familly will always be there for you." I think is a contradiction for 2 reasons.
A) In my opinion "friend" and "family" are the same. Look at the Davids and I: not blood related, and have you ever seen anyone at all from my dad's side?
Look at YOU and I, also not blood related (and we haven't even known each other that long) but I consider you friend/family (uhh "framily"??), and I'm here to stay.
B) The whole purpose of a friend/family is not that they are there for you, but that you are there for them. Friendship is not a two way street. Some people think this is bad, but I think it is good. It makes it possible for your gift to be unselfish and beautiful.
Nevertheless, I'm being pedantic. I really do understand exactly what you really mean. I also miss my friends (that I don't get to see). Sometimes a whole lot. And it sux bad that I can't see them every day. This is just food for thought.
You're very lucky with your many friends, either that or a good friend. I've always had very few friends at a time, and I'm rarely ever that close.
Nathan, I love you. I disagree with your mom, and I think you do too. If you didn't you wouldn't care so much for your friends.
I wish it weren't so hard maintaining friendships with the people you don't see everyday too, but, you still have those friends.
Families should alays be there for you, but the truth of the matter is that some families aren't. That doesn't apply to either of our families, and were very lucky that way. I personally have a lot of family that I consider to be some of my closest friends, but you are my family that was a friend first. You are also my friend who will never move away. Thank you for that.
I miss you guys as well. I sometimes seriously consider just packing everything up and moving back home at a moments notice, but reality will come and slap me in the back of the head and after a bit of a fight we accept our differences. Yet one of these days, I have no doubt that I will return to the place I still call home. After I get tired of visiting this place. That day keeps getting sooner.
On a different note, at least the people in our group are still easy to contact. Provided that someone picks up the phone. (wink wink) YOu can call me at practically any moment you so desire. Go ahead and wake me up if you want. I will most likely not mind and thank you for it. Will catch you later on my homey, and I promise to see you when I get home, provided you arent the one driving me there....(:
if friends were easy to let go of why even have them...I admit my life hasn't always made it convenient for us to be together. I also have the tendency to talk about the old days over and over when we see each other. Either that or trivial matters. You are one of my best friends ever. I would gladly spend any free time I have with you or corey. Trust me when I say there are very few people I can be around for long periods of time without giong crazy.
I miss ya'll muchly!
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